Du bi quan wang yong zhan chu men jiu zi / One-Armed Swordsman vs. Nine Killers (1976) - The trash flick amongst the martial arts movies - 2/10 (01/06/11)

I must admit that I have seen the bad cut version of this movie. As soon as a fight begins and the enemies face each other, there is a cut and in the next seen, a dead man lies on the ground and the main actor continues its strange journey. I don't know who has cut this movie to pieces but that's probably the worst job I have ever seen as it makes this movie completely senseless in a ridiculous way and the little twists in the end which allow me to give at least some plus points for the final voting are really hard to observe and understand.

But I will try to ignore those cut down fight scenes and analyze this movie from another point of view and might realize that it doesn't get better in any way. The dialogues are simplistic and ridiculously humorist by accident. The acting is more wooden than in an old martial arts video game. The direction and filming is mediocre, the chosen settings are cheesy and ordinary, the music doesn't quite fit to the atmosphere. The movie represents some strange and provoking opinions: people joke about cripples, prostitutes, homosexuals, old people and women in general. Those racist, sexist and simply dumb prejudices are completely unnecessary and keep me away from getting an approach to any of the characters performed by the already quite wooden actors and actresses.

But the most important thing in such a movie are the fighting scenes after all and those that haven't been cut are simply terrible. the one armed fighter has no particular skills at all and not even a glimpse of elegance. His fights are as wooden, limited and crippled as the whole character and movie itself. You can see that the main character's enemies lose their battles in the most stupid ways and the nine guards and seemingly best fighters are nothing but a bad joke. One guy is fighting with a sword of two meters that burst into pieces like a piece of papier-mâché. Even for a low budget movie this scene was a great example for the quality of the entire movie. Ed Wood Junior couldn't have created a better piece of trash. That's probably the worst offering I have ever seen in a martial arts movie. Even Jean-Claude van Damme and Chuck Norris are faster and smarter.

In the end, I can't suggest this movie to anyone with one humorous exception. If you happen to have a party with some good friends and you had way too much beers or drugs in your head, you may laugh like hell while you watch this piece of trash but it's really hard to get yourself on such a low level that makes you appreciate this worst Asian movie I have ever seen in my life. No, honestly and to be serious, don't believe the good rating and avoid this at all costs. Check out my other reviews of Asian flicks, there are so many better films to find no matter what you're looking for.