• Yoga Hosers (2016)

    From a purely objective point of view, ''Yoga Hosers'' could be seen as one of the worst movies ever made. The story is extremely weak. The movie has several big plot holes. The acting performances are somewhere between average and terrible. The characters are quite one- dimensional. The special effects are extremely cheap. The movie is filled with stupid stereotypes about Canadians and Germans. The German, French Canadian and English Canadian accents are also stereotypical and while a few expressions and pronunciations are employed correctly, they are completely exaggerated and annoyingly repetitive. The movie also rips off other films, characters and even actors. Even the soundtrack seems to have been put together in a very odd way where the main actresses perform famous classics in mostly horrid ways.

    And yet, from my subjective point of view, I adored ''Yoga Hosers'' from start to finish and not only despite but because of its flaws. If you are ready to switch your brain off, have some fun and watch this movie with a few friends, this is an entertaining, light-hearted and surprising party movie. It doesn't have the diversity, intensity and uniqueness of its predecessor ''Tusk'' but it has its very own style and might also have a small but faithful cult following in the years to come.

    The movie literally got me right from the start. I'm a huge fan of metal music and its diverse sub-genres, so when the film opened with a reinterpretation of Anthrax's famous ''I'm the Man'', I got my first positive surprise. The new lyrics for the song aren't very innovative but they are amusing and the idea itself is quite cool.

    The characters in this movie are so stupid, stereotypical and one- dimensional that it's actually funny. From the horny, obsessive and possessive stepmother over the angry, closed-minded and severe physical education teacher to the hysterical, megalomaniac and narcissistic villain, you get a whole series of hilariously entertaining characters. I somehow liked the so-called school hottie who actually looks plain horrible and who pretends to be a gentleman and turns out to be a satanist. His slightly retarded sidekick is another stereotypical character that is so over-the-top that I had to laugh about him all the time.

    Throw in a lot of interesting story ideas and you get a very unusual potpourri. The historic references to Canadian national socialist Adrien Arcand show that the makers of this film are actually familiar with Canadian culture and history. The movie also makes fun of cheap magazines and the obsession of media with stars and starlets in general. The idea to center this story around two bored, cynical and naive female store clerks who are addicted to their cell phones and judge everyone and everything around them is also quite interesting. It's actually interesting to live this story from the point of view of two unsympathetic anti-heroes that symbolize stereotypically everything that might be wrong with the the new millennium's generation. The older generation isn't portrayed in a more favourable way though and is often depicted as conservative, grumpy and prejudiced. The film also lives from its numerous cameo appearances featuring Johnny Depp as weird French Canadian police officer, Justin Long as surprisingly aggressive yoga teacher with weird marketing ideas and slogans and Kevin Smith as the face of an army of miniature monsters made of sausages and sauerkraut.

    This leads us to the incredible story line. A follower of French Canadian national socialist Adrien Arcand, a doctor from Berlin called Adronicus Arcane, purchases some land in Winnipeg, builds a subterranean palace, creates an army of tiny sausage warriors with sauerkraut blood, places himself into cryopreservation and plans to wake up one hundred years later in order to conquer North America. He wakes up three decades too soon after a power shortcut caused by a band performance in the back-store of a convenience store. He decides to send out his sausage warriors to kill people and get their body parts to build an ultimate monster suit for his sausage warriors. Unfortunately for the villain, he is living below the convenience store of two bored female clerks, naive high school students and yoga enthusiasts who will team up with a strange French Canadian police officer to save their country.

    Let's put this simple. If the story sounds like a cool idea to you, you will like this movie like I did. If you thing it's the worst thing you have ever heard, do yourself a favour and avoid this controversial cult flick. If you are somewhere in between, watch this at your own risks. I can't wait to watch the final instalment of the True North trilogy called ''Moose Jaws''.

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  • The Family (2013)

     

    "The Family" is an enjoyable and entertaining movie that though lacks depth and direction. It's a comedy movie that intends to be a satire of several gangster movies. The clash of cultures between a family of Italian origin from Brooklyn living in a remote small-town in France is another main element of this film. While the movie has a couple of hilarious scenes, most of them remain predictable and are filled with dumb stereotypes that had already been cited over and over again. Among the funny moments, there is also some action and suspense but not too much of it.

    What I liked about the movie were the perspective changes. At some points, you see the gangsters trying to track down the family and the American agents giving their best to protect them even though they act somewhat silly and unprofessional. In the movie, you follow the traces of the criminal family father who is ready to change things in town he doesn't like and who starts writing his memoirs. You also see some scenes of the mother who seems naive and religious at first sight but also uncovers a lot of criminal potential. The family's daughter looks very good and gets a lot of attention at high school but her unrequited love to a math geek adds a dramatic and romantic touch to the movie and drowns her into depression. The son is going through hell on his first day at high school and then starts to elaborate a smart revenge on everyone around him where he comes close to his father. The acting in the movie is quite okay. Robert De Niro has some charm and charisma. Tommy Lee Jones as ill-tempered, serious old school agent also has a few strong scenes. The best acting though comes from the family's dog and I don't mean that in an ironic way. The pet is involved in some of the funniest scenes of the entire movie in my opinion. Each time it appears, the movie gets rather interesting and a new twist or turn while some parts of the film feel disoriented.

    The story of the movie is very thin and some scenes are completely dumb. The way the imprisoned gangsters find the whereabouts of the family is nonsense. The final fighting scenes on the movie are rather lame as well and I was really expecting something longer and more intense. The way the movie ends is almost abrupt and didn't please me as well.

     

    This all sounds rather negative now, but fact is that this movie is a quite diverting film that never gets boring despite its obvious flaws. It's a good film to have some laughs and switch your brain off because there is no big story you need to follow. You see a couple of older star actors and actresses as well as some solid young actors. If you can live with an absent story and a lot of stereotypes, you might eventually enjoy this action comedy movie but don't expect too much from it. Let's also add that this is a "film for the whole family" compromise kind of thing which means that everyone may find it okay but nobody really adores it. In fact, I would rather recommend you renting or buying the film instead of going to the cinema just for this. 

     

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  • Scary Movie V

     

    In case you didn't know, Hollywood is becoming less and less original. The number of sequels or remakes even seems to be at new heights this year: "Carrie", "Die Hard V", "Evil Dead", "Fast & Furious 6", "Iron Man 3", "Man Of Steel: Superman 6", "Star Trek 12: Into Darkness", "Very Bad Trip 3" and so on. The strange thing is that people seem to want to see the lukewarm old stuff again and again and massively run into the theatres. Guess why I've switched to European and Asian cinema over the years. But from time to time, you go back to the movie theatres on a nostalgic note to watch some of those sequels. I've enjoyed the Scary Movie instalments when I was younger and when a few friends asked me to watch the new output I spontaneously joined them and gave this film a try.

    I must admit that this fifth part of the series had a couple of good laughs for those who know horror movies quite well. I laughed about the absurd sex scenes in the "Paranormal Activities" beginning, the stoned dialogues between Snoop Lion and Mac Miller on their way to "The Cabin in The Woods", the strange rituals executed by housemaid "Madea" Maria, the appearance of the intelligent ape Caesar as in "Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes", the "Inception" influenced dream sequence about "Fifty Shades Of Grey" or the religious teenagers in the cabin in the woods reminding of "Evil Dead" were quite funny. On the other side, other passages were rather dull and had their lengths as the "Black Swan" and "Mama" scenes.

    I must admit that I got out of the movie theatres with a big smile on my face and I had really enjoyed this entertaining and short flick while it lasted. It's not the best "Scary Movie" but also far from being the worst part of the series. That being said it was better than I had expected it to be. 

    What really struck me though is the fact I have some problems to call back in mind all the details of this movie. This is due to three reasons. The story line of the movie is even more stupid than usual and had an almost total absence of sense. The acting is even less impressive and more stereotypical than before. I'm aware of the fact that this kind of movie won't win any Academy Awards but this time the flick was only centred around quick jokes and a few cameo appearances. This movie is another meal of Hollywood junk flick food. It's entertaining but after all quite predictable and superficial of course. It's easy to digest but it's quickly gone as well.

    In the end, the film can be resumed like this: it's entertaining and quite funny when you watch it but you will soon forget it as well as there is honestly said nothing memorable or outstanding about it. Fans of the first four instalments should watch this fun ride as well. Those who didn't appreciate the first parts won't like this movie either and probably hate the fact that these instalments have been brought back to life again. 

     

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  • In Bruges (2008)

     

    "In Bruges" is a rather unusual genre mix with many funny moments but also a couple of lengths and a more or less convincing story line. The movie mixes many comedy elements with romantic bits and pieces, a suspenseful background story, some cultural elements and a little bit of action.

    Sometimes, this mix gets a little bit odd. At some points, this movie is more like a tourist guide through Bruges and therefor a weird kind of documentary rather than a film with a coherent development.

    But the true problem lies elsewhere. The characters are so diversified that they simply aren't authentic anymore in my humble opinion. The funny guy in love suddenly is the calm and suicidal victim. The pitiless and very emotional boss suddenly becomes the consequent killer that discusses about the morality of life and death. The old and very rational killer is suddenly let by strong emotions and risks his whole existence. The sadly inevitable love story of this flick is also overused and not authentic at all.

    Next to these complex and strange characters, there are many stereotypical persons that appear in this movie that might make you laugh at first sight but that get quite redundant after a while, for example the dwarf or the gunrunner. This contrast is what makes this movie quite entertaining and surprising on one side but also rather odd and torn apart on the negative side. I can understand people that would rate this movie under five points and people that would give it a top rating, the whole thing heavily depends on your personal taste. If you're open-minded and just want to live a strange odyssey, the chances are good that you might at least appreciate this somehow experimental film but if you're looking for something coherent, gripping and more traditional in terms of suspense or comedy flick, you should watch a detailed trailer before you get your hands on a copy of this.

    The strongest point of this feature is definitely the dirty humour. I know many people that actually adore Bruges. I have been there and must admit that even though I'm pretty much interested in arts and history, this town is pretty boring and almost appeared as a sleepy ghost town to me filled with tourists and their guides and a couple of old people. That's why I can really laugh about the stereotypical descriptions of that city and the extreme discussions about its strong and weak points. These discussions and the slapstick elements in many unpredictable situations were my favourite parts in the film.

    I disliked the character development, basically the whole plot and the lack of true suspense after all. There were only episodes, bits and pieces of the movie that I appreciated while there were also many unnecessary lengths. Sometimes, I was extremely bored, then suddenly extremely addicted to this movie. In the end, this feature was worth to be watched and gets some credit for its experimental originality. This is something different from anything I have seen before. It's not always different in good terms but it was refreshing but also exhausting to discover something that unusual. I would though watch it again as this flick has the potential to become a cult movie and might also grow on me.

     

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  • Project X (2012)

     

    This is a movie filled with hilarious laughs, over the top characters and many crazy ideas that you should enjoy with your friends in the movie theatres or watch at home in an appropriated atmosphere. Once you saw this you might now what I mean. This movie makes you want to break feel, have some fun and get out to have the party of your life but of course you should not do any of what the movie shows us at your home.

    In the end, the main character prefers to celebrate his next birthday with the girl he likes and loves instead of having a big party just to get famous at school and this is where the movie shows us the real sense of life and morality. I must admit that some characters are even pretty well developed for this kind of movie and represent quite well three naive teenage guys that play the main role. You have the sneaky and egoistic guy who only wants to have a hell load of fun, the more responsible and naive birthday child and the shy and awkward young man who risks everything to be cool and live the best night of his life.

    The rest is great and of course superficial entertainment. You simply have to switch your brains off and enjoy it. Of course this epic movie is not a joy ride for everyone. It's about drugs, it's about alcohol, it's about sex but you should see all of this coming. This movie contains probably more swear words and bad gestures than a gangster rap album and more naked women than a regular porn flick and might not please to younger and older audiences. I'm not used to watch this kind of movie at all as I watch rather exotic and intellectual stuff but it's a light and welcome change of my usual habits and I enjoyed it and would definitely watch it again.

     

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