Them goddamn yoga hosers against the bratzis - A special review of a special movie

From a purely objective point of view, ''Yoga Hosers'' could be seen as one of the worst movies ever made. The story is extremely weak. The movie has several big plot holes. The acting performances are somewhere between average and terrible. The characters are quite one- dimensional. The special effects are extremely cheap. The movie is filled with stupid stereotypes about Canadians and Germans. The German, French Canadian and English Canadian accents are also stereotypical and while a few expressions and pronunciations are employed correctly, they are completely exaggerated and annoyingly repetitive. The movie also rips off other films, characters and even actors. Even the soundtrack seems to have been put together in a very odd way where the main actresses perform famous classics in mostly horrid ways.

And yet, from my subjective point of view, I adored ''Yoga Hosers'' from start to finish and not only despite but because of its flaws. If you are ready to switch your brain off, have some fun and watch this movie with a few friends, this is an entertaining, light-hearted and surprising party movie. It doesn't have the diversity, intensity and uniqueness of its predecessor ''Tusk'' but it has its very own style and might also have a small but faithful cult following in the years to come.

The movie literally got me into it right from the start. I'm a huge fan of metal music and its diverse sub-genres, so when the film opened with a reinterpretation of Anthrax's famous ''I'm the Man'', I got my first positive surprise. The new lyrics for the song aren't very innovative but they are amusing and the idea itself is quite cool.

The characters in this movie are so stupid, stereotypical and one- dimensional that it's actually funny. From the horny, obsessive and possessive stepmother over the angry, closed-minded and severe physical education teacher to the hysterical, megalomaniac and narcissistic villain, you get a whole series of hilariously entertaining characters. I somehow liked the so-called school hottie who actually looks plain horrible and who pretends to be a gentleman and turns out to be a satanist. His slightly retarded sidekick is another stereotypical character that is so over-the-top that I had to laugh about him all the time.

Throw in a lot of interesting story ideas and you get a very unusual potpourri. The historic references to Canadian national socialist Adrien Arcand show that the makers of this film are actually familiar with Canadian culture and history. The movie also makes fun of cheap magazines and the obsession of media with stars and starlets in general. The idea to center this story around two bored, cynical and naive female store clerks who are addicted to their cell phones and judge everyone and everything around them is also quite interesting. It's actually interesting to live this story from the point of view of two unsympathetic anti-heroes that symbolize stereotypically everything that might be wrong with the new millennium's generation. The older generation isn't portrayed in a more favourable way though and is often depicted as conservative, grumpy and prejudiced. The film also lives from its numerous cameo appearances featuring Johnny Depp as weird French Canadian police officer, Justin Long as surprisingly aggressive yoga teacher with weird marketing ideas and slogans and Kevin Smith as the face of an army of miniature monsters made of sausages and sauerkraut.

This leads us to the incredible story line. A follower of French Canadian national socialist Adrien Arcand, a doctor from Berlin called Adronicus Arcane, purchases some land in Winnipeg, builds a subterranean palace, creates an army of tiny sausage warriors with sauerkraut blood, places himself into cryopreservation and plans to wake up one hundred years later in order to conquer North America. He wakes up three decades too soon after a power shortcut caused by a band performance in the back-store of a convenience store. He decides to send out his sausage warriors to kill people and get their body parts to build an ultimate monster suit for his sausage warriors. Unfortunately for the villain, he is living below the convenience store of two bored female clerks, naive high school students and yoga enthusiasts who will team up with a strange French Canadian police officer to save their country.

Let's put this simple. If the story sounds like a cool idea to you, you will like this movie like I did. If you think it's the worst thing you have ever heard, do yourself a favour and avoid this controversial cult flick. If you are somewhere in between, watch this at your own risk. I can't wait to watch the final instalment of the True North trilogy called ''Moose Jaws''.

Final verdict: seven out of ten bratzis